High-fiving instead of Supersizing me

Yes!
I am so over it!
Over what, you ask?
Effing McDonald's, man.
I was addicted to the deadly duo of a double cheeseburger and medium fries for three days a week for a period of two months. Each night, before the binging, I would feel actual symptoms of withdrawal. Just knowing that I was about to "fix" made me a wreck. Not to mention after I ate I just wanted to lie down and chill. That whole "fixing" and then just hanging really made me feel like I was shooting or hitting the pipe.
I'm no Morgan Spurlock, but I do agree with just about everything he said in Supersize Me, that pertains to the fast food industry. And I can certainly tell how the sugar, sodium, and trans fat stick to your body. I was steadily putting on weight and steadily disgusting myself.
I have not had the vile food in two weeks and am finally feeling like I have left it behind me. My energy is back up and my digestive track is regular again. Thank God. I don't know how much longer my friends, co-workers, and I could have stood my sewage gas.
I think a sequel to Supersize Me needs to be done. I think Morgan should should put himself on a diet of health foods that claim to be healthy. Like "made with whole grain" breads, "low fat" foods, and any other phony marketing scheme.
Yep, I'm filling lighter and my clothes aren't any tighter.
I must admit, the shakes were almost enough to make me cave last week. Now that I'm free from fast food what's next? Sex? Ha! it's been long enough already.

Digging Daddy Time

Yes!
I am a father.
Okay, not in the sense that I impregnated a woman or anything.
But, as of yesterday, I am the proud father of a short-haired, brown guinea pig named Pickles.
I don't think it has adjusted to me, yet. The manual says it could take awhile, and that the first day I should just leave it alone.
Last night before I went to bed I tried to give it a good night carrot. Pickles started racing around its cage like a brown streak of lightning. I perceived it as discomfort. I'm going to give it plenty of time to acclimate before I try to pick it up and cuddle it.
Don't worry. I'm not going to freak out and start buying clothes for it or anything. But I will take multiple pictures with it. Maybe even Wal-mart studio pictures.
Yep, expect Christmas cards with yours truly and Pickles.
I just needed something to care for. Something furry to play with. I just needed some company. And plus, if things go well with Pickles, I might actually be able to handle a dog, and then another human relationship. But for now I'm going to start small.
p.s.
The picture is not Pickles. A picture will surface soon. This is just one I found on-line, but they're guinea pigs, people, this one looks similar.

Birthday Wish

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now 27.
Great. One year older and one more reason to worry about my health.
In three years I can start to look for wrinkles. In three years I can start worrying about my hair falling out a little more than I do now. In three years I can start feeling like the creepy 30 year old who's not married and doesn't have kids and is dating on-line.
Now that I think about it I'm feeling a little like Billy Crystal in City Slickers. That scene when he's in his son's class room talking about death and being married to someone you don't recognize.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Billy Crystal is funny. But that one scene in the movie, that was me yesterday.
This is what I want out of a birthday...instead of candles and cake and crap, I want to go back to one year of my life for one day and make a difference in my life. Or at least be able to go back to relive a day from my past. That would be the perfect birthday present. Maybe a day from high school or middle school. Someday when I could change something then that would effect me now. Kind of like a Back to the Future thing, only without Biff, he's an asshole.
But, honestly I spent last night at my parents' house. They cooked and my family bought me a cake and I actually blew out candles. I haven't done that in forever. All in all, it was nice. I guess I'm not so suicidal today.