Negative Cell Phone Enjoyment

Hello out there all you faithful blogger readers! Teasing. Thank you so much for reading thus far! I'm so desperate for attention.
This blog, should provoke two thoughts: Oh, my God is that Zack Morris and his fantastically large cell phone from "Saved by the Bell"? Yes. So awesome. And... what great blog topic for today.

This morning I came into the office and realized that I had no service on my personal cell phone which has made me feel completely and totally useless and bored! My work cell phone doesn't have service either, but who cares about that?

I am expecting a phone call about my furnace, so that's super important. Other than that I'm not expecting anything special except for the thousand text messages I send in a day! I need this to get through the day!

Supposedly, the cell phone towers are malfunctioning. Either that or aliens or terrorists or alien terrorists. What would be worse in this case? Honestly, I don't care what the cause is, just give me back my cell phone. God, why are you doing this to me, now?!

I can communicate through email, but that just doesn't give me the instant gratification of a text message. I'm eagerly awaiting life to return back to normal. At this point I don't even care if i had to use a giant Zack Morris phone.

Plug in for Romance

Hello out there, all you fakers and fronters,
have I got something for you.
It's love, it's lust,
it will singe off the dust,
of your pathetic single life.
It's a love light for your love life,
a miraculous, melty tool.
It's an electric fireplace.
Installation is easy; just plug it in.
Then hold tight
as you say goodnight,
with your lover
tucked under the covers.
But seriously, I just bought an electric fireplace that I am hoping will save me a few hundred dollars this fall and winter. I just plugged it in this afternoon and am going home soon to check it out. It's not just for me, if you know what I mean, it's for pickles, and for you. For comfort, for pleasure, for non-sock feet on icy floors during cold weather.
It might even be eco-friendly? I'm hoping it's eco-nomically-friendly.
Keep it toasty.

nebula, oh nebula

I took out my contacts because they were drying out in my eyes. I was beginning to have trouble seeing at the end of the night. Maybe my sight was distorted by the cool, dry air of that fall night, or from a smokey sports bar. I could have been afflicted by it all.
Maybe 2 AM is when it was that got around to taking them out. The house was quiet and I could almost hear my blood pulse through my body in unison with the petite steps padding through the carpeted hallway.
I turned the corner, as did the nebula. I was face to face with the birth of a star. The stellar, galactic cloud that eventually collapses into a star. Her eyes were striking and timeless. I was frozen and afire in the vacuum of space.
Maybe my contacts had only shielded me from her eyes so far, but in that light, those eyes, went on forever.
I just sat on the sink, looking.
Eventually I mumbled, "do you need to use this?"
And those nebulous eyes almost whispered, smiling, "umm...yes."
Quite possibly I had mistaken what I saw, or maybe eventually everyone comes face to face with an astral body and it's no big deal. Regardless, I can still see them. And the picture above doesn't even do them justice.

The Death Sleep

"Sleep, my child" is what I wish someone could say and I would immediately fall asleep. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. Do you ever have those nights when you are so tired that you can't sleep? I had one last night. I fell asleep on the couch watching a documentary about Hinduism and woke up two hours later. I remembered that I still had to water my plants, so I did at 12:30 last night. After making coffee for in the morning I was tired, but not sleepy.
Dammit.
I got online and played for awhile, then tried to commit to sleep.
Unsuccessful.
I laid in bed and let all the things worry me that would take place tomorrow. Then I began to worry about my life, my soul, my financial situation, and everything else. I do not recall when I finally drifted off.
The point?
The point is I might have drifted off long enough for good sleep, but not the "death sleep."
The death sleep is the crucial four hours of deep REM sleep, that one must have every night. Sleep researchers have deemed this sleep necessary for a longer life span and general health. The more days you experience the deep sleep, the more days you will live. So, I call it the death sleep.
I'm hoping for more death sleep tonight.
Does it help that I daydream all day? I certainly wish it did.