You're bad, I'm good. I'm bad, you're good.

Hold on.

What are you holding on to?

Just wait.

What are you waiting for?

Don't know.

What is worth knowing?

In time.

When is long enough?

My eyes don't need changing.

My mouth is forever blaming.

I'm so tired of forever faking.

Why can't I move ahead?

Why are my feet so full of lead?

Why do I just want to stay in bed?

I guess it's a matter

of just changing the sheets

something to make life feel complete

if I could just get motivated.

For now I'll guess I'll just draw the shades

promise tomorrow that I'll change.

Holding out until the colors fade

then just rewash them.

You're so tired of hearing me complain

think there's something wrong with my brain,

just don't know how much I'm hurting.

Can you pick up some ether on the way home

or maybe chloroform from down the road,

that's all my grocery list really is.

A collection of wishes, of things I never did.

I Saw Red

I saw red last night. And I'm not just talking about the color red pasted everywhere for Valentine's Day. I had a super awesome Valentine's Day with friends and family. I would not have spent it any other way.

But, I saw red.

I saw rage like I haven't seen it for some time. I felt it so strongly that I could not sleep. I having been mildly shaking all day with rage. Like a ringing in my ears and a tiny palpitation in my heart.

I will not go into details. I will give the bare minimum to protect the innocence of the ignorant.

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love. Love of the romantic kind specifically, and love in general. Some people are incapable of loving by the way.

Last night there was an assassin about. The assassin hated love and most likely hated himself. He was a bull. He was primed for combat. He wore a slain lover at his side like a trophy. He was large and oppressive. The assassin attempted to oppress others from having a good time. The assassin attempted to oppress love. I don't believe the assassin was completely aware of how destructive his actions can be. I don't think he is in control of his intentions. I think he was bred. He must have been. A creature of hate and anger. Who could raise such a creature? I know what I must do. I must love him. I must love the creature. As I stared into his eyes and my words cut deeply into his toughened soul, I realized that I too was hating. He was bleeding. He was cornered. He was the great hunter awaiting to be taken down and consumed. But this is not the wild. We are animals, but we are human. I will love him. It can be the only way that I can distinguish myself from him.

But never. Never shall I allow for someone to oppress me. I will challenge any force that tries to dictate my existence. I will be pure, I will live forever.

New Holiday

Have you noticed, that the manner in which a holiday is declared, has to do with many factors? Halloween, for instance, is a collaborative effort of multiple cultures converging on basically two days for a plethora of activities ranging from prayer to handing out candy.

Of course there are those holidays that are significant to the area that celebrates them like various Independence days.

What I noticed yesterday is that we are on the threshold of declaring a new holiday that is unique to our country-The Super Bowl. There are several qualifiers so bear with me here:

For one- we need a leading up period for the public to buy all the necessary ingredients for the event and the producers receive another boost in their annual sales. Holidays are big business.

Two- we a focal point for the holiday, whether it be the Easter Bunny, Jesus, the Groundhog, etc. In this case we not only have the teams that are competing in the game, but the commercials and halftime show.

Three-What's the most important component to a successful or unsuccessful holiday? Spending that holiday with the ones you love. And you what do we do? We host Superbowl parties with friends and family.

Four-Food. We cook Turkey for Thanksgiving, Ham for Easter, barbecue everything for July 4th. So what do we cook for Superbowl? Munchies. Munchies are the designated food of the Superbowl. This could range from buffalo wings to pizza to that weird texmex dip that everyone eats.

Five-Traditional dress. For Christmas we wear those ugly Christmas sweaters, Halloween we have costumes, Easter we wear our bonnets and Sunday best. For the Superbowl it's a no-brainer. We have the two teams jerseys or related memorabilia. Or you could just wear the teams colors.

The Superbowl has become so much more than just a commercialized event to make money. It is a day to share with friends and family. It's yet another day when the world is watching the United States to see athletes, no titans, competing in their peak performance. I hate football, but I watched it and enjoyed the show. I most certainly plan on celebrating Superbowl next year and carrying on that tradition for many years.

Smash the Mirror

Yesterday, 02/02/10, was Groundhog Day. I couldn't help but be reminded of the movie starring Bill Murray. I love Bill Murray and most of the movies he has starred in. Which has nothing to do with this.

See, he gets stuck in Groundhog Day for an unspecified number of days until he can do that day correctly. His personal relationships and general disposition had to change in order for him to move on in life. The question I want to raise is; what if today was the day you were stuck in? What would you do differently tomorrow if you lived today over? Just as important; what if you lived this day over, how would you handle that? Could you handle that? I've been obsessing over this type of question lately. I think partly because I'm 28 years old and I want more out of life. I look in the mirror under these unforgiving fluorescent lights and I can see myself aging. But will living every day like it's your last drive a person crazy? I guess I have to act on this now before I stop noticing myself aging in the mirror.